By Shari Lifland
According to the U.S. Census, seven million children
are regularly left unsupervised while their parents are at work or away
for other reasons. (Some estimates run as high as ten million, as some
parents are hesitant to admit that they leave their young children unattended.)
These children are known as latchkey kids, an expression first coined
in the early 19th century when children on their own would wear their
house keys on a string around their necks.
Certainly there comes a time in each child’s life when
a degree of independence is welcome and even beneficial. Who’s Minding
the Kids? a report by the U.S. Census Bureau, states, "Self care
can be an important part of the natural process of independence, allowing
children structured opportunities for successful transitions to adulthood."
But how can a parent determine when a child is ready to stay home alone
and for how long a period of time?
Assessment: Determining a Child’s Readiness for Self-Care
Each child’s situation must be assessed individually.
If you answer YES to most of the following questions,
from The Daily Parent, a newsletter for working parents, your child
may be ready to stay home alone:
- Has he handled brief periods of being left alone well?
- Will he come straight home after school?
- Can your child be alone without feeling lonely or frightened?
- Can he manage simple tasks like fixing a snack and taking phone messages?
- Is he physically able to unlock and lock the doors at home?
- Can he solve small problems by himself?
- Does he know when and how to seek outside help?
- Is he prepared to handle an accident or an emergency?
- Will he follow the rules set for him and use his time productively?
Other factors to consider:
- Know the Law: Some states specify at what age a child may be legally
left alone. Many other states (for example, New York and New Jersey)
do not state a specific age, but leave it to parents to determine whether
the maturity level of the child warrants his being left alone. Obviously,
before you leave any child home alone, you should check with your state
or local child welfare office to learn about the policy governing your
area.
- Talk to Your Child: Have in-depth discussions with your child to
determine how he or she feels about being left home alone. Find out
his fears and address any questions he has. While some children welcome
the chance to show some independence, other children remain fearful
of being alone.
Robert Morton, M.Ed, Ed.S, a practicing school psychologist
advises, "Most kids 7-to-8 can handle being left alone while you
run a short (25 minute) errand, and most 10 year-olds can handle a few
hours by themselves…However, if your child appears lonely or apprehensive
after being left unattended, find a reputable sitter."
What Every Child Should Know
The Phoenix, Arizona Fire Department recommends that
before leaving any child alone, parents should make sure the child knows
the following:
- Their full name, address and phone number.
- Parents' full names, the exact name of the places they work and their
work and cell phone numbers.
- How to dial 9-1-1.
- How to carry a key so it is secure and out of sight. Never have a
name/address on the key.
- Never go into the house if a door is ajar or a window is broken.
- What to do if they think they are being followed.
- How to answer the phone without letting callers know they are alone.
- What to do in case of a fire.
- The location of a flashlight in the event of a power failure.
- Which neighbor to go to if the child is locked out or needs help.
- To tell you if something has happened while you were away that made
him or her feel uncomfortable in any way.
The Rules
Both parents and children feel more secure if they create
a list of clear, non-negotiable rules governing the latchkey experience.
Here are some suggested rules children and parents might follow:
- Go directly home from school.
- After entering the home, lock the door, then check in with a parent
by phone.
- Do homework and specific assigned chores.
- Know how to prepare a healthy snack. Children and parents should discuss
in advance whether or not the stove may be used, or only a microwave.
- Do not answer the door and do not allow friends to come over to the
house.
- Establish rules for phone use.
- A parent should check in by phone with the child just before leaving
work to let him/her know an estimated time of arrival and if there is
a chance the parent may be late.
Recommended resource: The American Red Cross
offers low-cost training classes for children. Basic Aid Training, for
children aged 7-11, covers emergency readiness, first aid and injury prevention;
Babysitting Training, for children 11 and older, concentrates on decision-making
skills, problem solving, first aid, and childcare. These classes can help
children feel empowered while providing parents with peace of mind.
Author Bio: Shari Lifland’s 12-year-old son Logan
successfully latchkeys two days a week.
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