By Kevin Daley
A mid-level manager—let’s call her Laura—gets
a directive from the boss that she thinks is ill-advised. The plan won't
achieve the desired results, the manager concludes. It will increase costs
or demoralize employees or cause customer dissatisfaction. Whatever the
problem is, Laura is aware that it’s the boss’s plan so she has to deal
with the situation with a degree of sensitivity.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to disagree with
the boss and win the argument. Laura realized it was necessary to cool
off before confronting the situation. She waited a day—but the course
she took was the wrong one. She walked into the boss’s office and told
him the plan won't work. "Of course it'll work," the boss replied.
"I want to redesign the plan," Laura said.
"No," answered the boss.
Laura reflected on all this later. She realized that
she had caused her boss to become defensive. She had to change her approach.
She asked the boss for a meeting where she could ask some questions to
help her understand the plan better. They set a date and time.
Laura went to the meeting with a pen and notepad and
asked the boss what he wanted to achieve with his plan. The boss described
his objectives. Laura then asked a series of questions to clarify her
understanding of the objectives. To be certain she understood correctly,
she paraphrased the goals. She then told her boss she could achieve the
objectives and asked for permission to come back with a plan later that
week. The boss agreed. The story has a happy ending. The boss accepted
Laura’s plan and she began implementing it later that day.
Here are some lessons Laura gained from this experience,
in the form of do’s and don'ts that can help you disagree with your boss
and win the argument.
Don't:
- Say you disagree with the boss’s plan. Avoid use of the dreaded word
"but," which might make it appear that you're negating everything
the boss had said. Instead, use the word "suggest"—it’s
a magic word in this kind of dialogue because no boss bristles at a
suggestion.
- Let your emotions come into play. Wait a while before presenting
an alternate plan. Ask for a meeting to discuss the boss’s objectives.
Do:
- Start that meeting by asking what the boss wants to achieve and the
reasons for these goals. Ask open-ended questions to probe further.
Paraphrase to make sure you understand. Thank the boss for the information
and set a date for presenting your plan.
- Make sure your plan links to the boss’s critical needs, including
the personal ones as you understand them. Step in the boss’s shoes.
Appreciate what’s good about the boss’s roadmap; you want to get your
plan accepted, not prove the boss wrong.
- Open the meeting by giving the boss the floor. You won't get the
attention you need until the boss invites you to speak. Present your
plan enthusiastically. Make it clear that it’s intended to achieve what
the boss wants. Start with the bottom line, not how you'll implement
the plan. Fill in the details only if you're asked for them. Keep it
short; the boss is busy.
Whatever you may think of your boss, don't think you
can advance your career without him or her on your side. Good communications
skills with all the people you work with are essential for building your
career. The way you present yourself to your boss—indeed, to everyone
you work with—will affect your ability to do your job well and the
way you're viewed as a professional.
Want to learn more about this topic? Consider these
AMA seminars:
Author Bio: Kevin Daley is founder
and chairman of Communispond, Inc., a communication skills training firm.
His new book, Talk Your Way to the Top, written with Laura Daley-Caravella,
will be published by McGraw-Hill in September. He can be reached via www.communispond.com
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