 We’ve
all heard that networking is key to both professional and personal success.
And we definitely plan to start networking in earnest—any day
now! Unfortunately, many people put off building an effective network
of connections until they are in “emergency mode,” i.e.,
their business is suffering, they’ve lost their job or they’ve
suffered a personal setback of some kind.
Help has arrived in the form of an insightful,
user-friendly new book, “Nonstop Networking” (Capital Books),
by personal marketing consultant Andrea R. Nierenberg. Subtitled “How
to Improve Your Life, Luck and Career,” the book presents everything
you always wanted to know about networking (but were perhaps afraid
to ask!).
From page one, it’s obvious that Nierenberg
does more than just “talk the talk” about networking. In
the preface she writes, “Networking comes easy for me now, but
it wasn’t always so. At one point in my life, I was very shy.
When I first moved to New York City, I knew no one except my grandparents,
and now, many years later, I have a database of over 2,500 contacts
that is still growing.”
AMA’s Shari Lifland recently interviewed Nierenberg
about the abc’s of effective networking.
AMA: How do you define “networking?”
Andrea R. Nierenberg: Networking
is the process of developing and maintaining quality relationships that
are mutually beneficial. It is an ongoing process to make connections
that can last a lifetime. Networking is a lifestyle attitude. The opposite
of networking is “not working.”
AMA: In the preface to your book you write
about “negative networking.” What is it and why does networking
in general have such a bad reputation today?
Nierenberg: You’ve probably seen
negative networking taking place at weddings, parties and other events:
people put everyone around them on the spot by forcing their cards into
their hands, trying to sell their business and get new clients. Some
people will let everyone know that they’re looking for a job and
even send blast e-mails blatantly asking for help with their job search.
It’s a problem because people tend to perceive
networking only as getting something from others. It has gotten a bad
reputation because:
1. People rush around to make new contacts to collect
names;
2. They fail to make a personal connection when
following up with these contacts;
3. They focus on quantity rather than quality.
When quantity overrules quality and is taken to the extreme, it becomes
“networking abuse.”
Overall, people feel uneasy because they do not know
how to network effectively. Once they learn the right techniques, it
becomes a more comfortable process. It takes patience to slowly build
a network over time.
AMA: It’s a big world out there. How do
we find appropriate people with whom to network?
Nierenberg: The best place to begin
is with people you have already come into contact with. Make a list
of all the people you know in each of these categories: co-workers,
vendors, neighbors, like-minded people, friends, family and people you
meet by chance.
Instead of thinking about how they might help you
or even if you want them in your network, just use this simple criterion:
If I called this person today, would he or she take my phone call, or
at least call me back?
Ask yourself the following questions to see how many
people you already know:
- How many people do you work with?
- How many people have you worked with in the past?
- How many clients do you have?
- How many people do you know from professional organizations?
- How many people do you know from other organizations such as health
clubs, your homeowners association, or PTA?
- How many people do you know from religious affiliations or organizations?
- How many professionals (doctors, lawyers, accountants) do you deal
with?
- How many former schoolmates do you stay in touch with?
- How many people do you know in your neighborhood?
- How many friends and relatives do you have?
Look in all the places where you have names
stored: address book, organizer, business card file, birthday list,
computer database of clients, e-mail address book, company directory
(current and past), college directory, membership rosters from professional
organizations, list of attendees at seminars and workshops you’ve
attended, homeowners association directory, church directory and others.
Then mark the names of folks who would take your call.
AMA: We’ve all heard the expression
“It’s not what you know, but who you know.” Is this
true or is merit what really matters?
Nierenberg: It’s important to
know someone to get your foot in the door. However, once you’re
in, it’s how you manage yourself that keeps you there. Your behavior
and professional performance reflect on the person who referred you.
Wherever you work, remember to watch your reputation and maintain your
credibility.
AMA: What’s the number one mistake
people make when it comes to networking?
Nierenberg: My company, The Nierenberg
Group, conducted a survey with New York University’s Management
Institute. We asked participants throughout the United States to choose
a response to the question, “What is the worst thing someone did
to you when networking?” Here’s what we found:
- 44% said that people seemed interested only in selling them something
- 26% chose the response, “left you as soon as he or she realized
you could not help"
- 14% chose “talked about his/herself too much.”
AMA: In your book, you discuss 12 networking
techniques. Number 11 is “have an exit strategy.” We’ve
all found ourselves involved in a conversation from which we’d
like to move on. What tips can you give on how to make a graceful exit?
Nierenberg: The best way to make a
graceful exit is using appropriate, polite exit lines, such as the following:
- “It was great meeting you and hopefully we can continue our
conversation sometime over lunch or coffee.”
- “Thanks for sharing the information about your new project.
It sounds exciting. Best of continued success.”
- “Please excuse me, I see a friend that I’d like to
go over and visit with.”
- “I enjoyed hearing about your company. I’ll see you
again—enjoy the rest of the evening.”
- “You’ve been so interesting to talk with. I’ll
let you have the opportunity to share your thoughts with some other
folks.”
AMA: What networking tips can you give to
someone who is painfully shy when meeting new people?
Nierenberg: Shy people should set goals:
- When attending a networking event, they can plan to meet and follow-up
with at least two people.
- At a company function, they can sit next to someone new. They should
prepare three questions to ask the other person about his or her profession,
interests and family.
- Every day, they can send an e-mail to someone they have not contacted
recently.
- Once a week, they can call three people just to say “hello.”
- Once a month, they can have lunch with a friend, colleague or client.
Other tips:
- Ask an open-ended question and listen to the person’s response.
Once they’ve made a connection, interacting with others will
seem easier.
- Start conversations by saying something complimentary about others—perhaps
about a product innovation, promotion, or positive company developments
that they read about in a trade publication.
- Use a “cript.” When calling someone, write down key
points and rehearse them until they can say them naturally. Refer
to notes about the people they are calling. Develop a type of “script”
for meetings and events and even prepare three “mall talk”
topics—current events, new movies or books, or industry news.
AMA: Absolutely everyone is online today—even
my 78-year-old mother. How can we use the Internet as a networking resource?
Nierenberg: The Internet is an excellent
research tool for networking more effectively. You can go to any company’s
Website to get information about their products and services. Many companies
keep press releases on their Websites, so that when you go to an event,
you will be better prepared to talk about a company’s accomplishments.
You can also find out about people’s accomplishments by using
the Internet to see if they have been mentioned in the media or on their
company’s Websites. This will help you to specifically compliment
others and ask specific questions while gaining professional insight.
You can also search the Internet to find out which organizations in
your area are good for you to get involved with so that you can meet
other people to expand your network. And don’t forget to read
either print or electronic versions of industry, association and trade
magazines and newsletters. I find lots of articles and news items about
promotions, job changes and other news events that present opportunities
for me to start a conversation with someone.
AMA: Obviously, the ability to remember
people’s names is an important part of networking, yet many people
forget a name as soon as they hear it. How can people hone this key
ability?
Nierenberg: There are three helpful
ways to remember names:
1. Form an impression of the person’s appearance
and embed it into your mind. Note height, stature, color of hair and
eyes, facial expression and any distinguishing physical features.
Avoid concentrating on dress, or even hairstyle, because these may
be different the next time you meet.
2. Repeat the person’s name after you meet
and several times during the conversation. When you repeat the name,
two things happen—the person is flattered and the name goes
into your memory bank.
3. Make up a visual story about the person’s
name. Associate the person’s name with something that will remind
you of it. Put the person into your visual story. The sillier the
story, the easier it will be to remember.
AMA: If you could give just one bit of advice
to business people today, what would it be?
Nierenberg: Overall, it’s to
think beyond yourself: sincerely meet people’s needs, nurture
relationships, continuously strive to be a resource and listen to learn
from everyone you meet.
About the Author
Andrea Nierenberg is president of The Nierenberg Group, where she works
with companies to improve interpersonal communications for management
and staff. Her advice has been published in The New York Times,
The Wall Street Journal, Fortune Online and Newsweek Japan. She offers
keynote addresses and custom-designed programs on motivational techniques,
networking tactics and presentation skills.
To contact Andrea Nierenberg:
The Nierenberg Group, 420 E. 51st Street, Suite 12D,
New York, NY 10022.
Phone: 888-605-5911
E-mail:andrean@selfmarketing.com
Website: www.selfmarketing.com
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